Please Sir! (1971)

Feature length spin-off versions of popular sit-coms were common in the 1970s and can be a mixed bag, Please Sir! just about manages to get away with it.

Hedges (John Alderton) is the idealistic teacher of class 5C who are basically a teenager (although they all look about 25 of course) version of the Bash Street Kids. His class complain that they have never been taken away to a camp holiday like the other classes so Hedges manages to persuade the headmaster (Erik Chitty) and other senior staff to take class 5C to a rural camp, which doesn't half resemble a prison camp...

Class 5C soon get up to no good involving nearby gypsies and posh children from another school. Hedges is also pursued by a flight attendant (Jill Kerman) and his colleague (Patsy Rowlands)...

This isn't a bad film though the comedy is often a bit corny. Taking the TV cast away on holiday was one of the usual ways to extend a TV show into a movie and it works pretty well in this case.

The 23 (1979)

Two cockney criminals (Tommy Godfrey and George Sweeney) break into an office to break into the safe, but this isn't a blag from the Sweeney, this is a promotional film from the General Post Office for it's fancy new Number 23 teleprinter! George becomes obsessed with the machine while his old man works on the safe and helpfully reads out from the manual all of the swish new features. This is great fun, how a promotional film should be done. I certainly want to buy a 23 after seeing this, though i guess eBay will be required these days...

The Stranger (1973)

An astronaut accidentally ends up on an alien world, luckily for the budget this world looks exactly like our own...

When astronaut Neil Stryker (Glenn Corbett) crashes on the way back to Earth, he wakes up in a strange hospital where he knows no one and won't be allowed to see anyone. Neil begins to suspect he might be in the Soviet Union and manages to escape the head of security Benedict (Cameron Mitchell). However, outside of the hospital he appears to be in the USA. But no one has heard of Florida... and there happens to be three moons!

Neil discovers that he is on another world, one under the control of an authoritarian regime called the Perfect Order. Knowledge of the past is forbidden and obedience is total. Neil gets the help of Dr Cooke (Sharon Acker) to try and keep ahead of Benedict and his goons...

This isn't a bad film all in all, though the tiny budget does hinder it a bit. The story is pretty decent (if rather heavily Orwell inspired) and the performances work well. Some good tension and drama, perfectly good TV movie.

Track of the Moon Beast (1976)

Yet another film where someone is turned into a mutant monster by contact with something strange, it is a wonder there were any humans left by 1980!

During a meteorite storm, a fragment of meteor hits geologist Paul (Chase Cordell). This has the unfortunate side-effect of turning him into a murderous reptilian space monster who goes on killing sprees at night much to his girlfriend Kathy's (Leigh Drake) disappointment. Native American Professor Salina (Gregorio Sala) has heard that such a creature has appeared once before. Kathy though just wants to save Paul...

This isn't a good film but then again it doesn't really need to be. This is a film for people who want to see monsters menacing scantily clad women. Even so though, this is rather poor stuff, Paul and Kathy's acting skills are rather non-existent. The cheese factor adds a bit (but just a bit) of fun.

The Bat People (1974)

Man bitten by bats turns into bat, luckily this doesn't happen very often in real life with other creatures otherwise i'd now be a giant mosquito.

Bat scientist Dr Beck (Stewart Moss) and his wife Cathy (Marianne McAndrew) are on their honeymoon. Part of this includes going down into some caves, Dr Beck ends up being bitten by a strange bat. This causes him to transform into a giant vampire bat at night! 

Beck-bat has a taste for human blood of course but eventually manages to escape and return to the rest of the bats. Cathy meanwhile has also been infected by the bats and kills the local police man with the help of an aerial bombardment of bat poo...

Not a good film by any means, it is fairly entertaining from a cheese point of view but lacks much in the way of originality or quality and is padded out too much with irrelevance. The theme song is pretty good though.

The Blood Waters of Dr Z (1971)

Heavy drug use must have been involved in this somewhere.

Dr Leopold (Marshall Grauer) is that beloved scientist of movie land, a mad one. Leopold is also some kind of Nazi and his way of bringing about the Fourth Reich is apparently to change himself into a bizarre killer sea monster. He transforms himself into a mutated catfish, he also wants to kidnap a young woman (Sanna Ringhaven) so he can breed a new master race of monsters. Why of course!

Leopold transforms himself into a rather plodding beast so mankind probably shouldn't lose too much sleep over him. His plans seem to be foiled by biologist Rex (Gerald Cruse) though the monster (Wade Popwell in the suit) manages to escape so who knows?

This is a pretty awful film, it is very cheaply made and makes little sense. It does have a real strange feel about it though and can be quite psychedelic at times, at least you will wonder if someone has spiked your drink.

Code Name: Diamond Head (1977)

A pilot for a series that never came to fruition, which is a shame as it could have been a catastrophe that could have entertained generations of cult fans. As it is we have a fairly average if a bit odd spy film.

Johnny Paul (Roy Thinnes) is a US government agent based in Hawaii (code named Diamond Head of course). He has to prevent the theft and sale of a new nerve gas being developed at a local government laboratory. The enemy are headed by Donovan (Ian McShane) - a master of disguise or just lucky that the people he has to take the identity of look like him already. Diamond Head is assisted by Zulu and France Nuyen providing the muscle and the sex appeal in varying amounts.

It is all a bit inept. The plot is poor and the action lacking on the most part. As might be expected, Ian McShane is head and shoulders the best thing about this film. It is watchable but not great but i wonder how a full series would have turned out.

Frozen Scream (1975)

An amazingly bizarre, and at times pretty gruesome, zombie horror.

A group of scientists (mad of course) are trying to discover the secret of immortality. They do this by kidnapping people and turning them into zombies which are kept frozen until they are needed for nefarious purposes. One of these zombies is Tom (Wolf Muser) and now his wife Ann (Lynne Yeaman) is trying to find out what happened to him. This puts her in various perils of course and pitted against one of the scientists (Renee Harmon) who has an impressively sinister accent...

This is a really weird film, the zombies dress as mad monks, the direction is very strange at times with curiously chosen camera angles but the scares can work, or can be hilarious, or both. 

The film doesn't really make a lot of sense and has a lengthly scene while a bad rock and roll band plays for some reason right in the middle of strange satanic rituals and vicious zombie attacks. It really shouldn't work and it doesn't... but somehow it does at the same time.

In Tandem (1974)

The feature length pilot of the TV series Movin' On about two truck drivers. Expect big rigs and lots of country music!

Will (Frank Converse) is a young-ish truck driver, of a more intellectual bent, who has grown tired of driving death traps and quits. He meets up with veteran independent trucker Sonny (Claude Akins) and agrees to drive for him, though he doesn't expect that the life of a "gypsy" trucker like Sonny can often be a bit fraught with danger! Things come to a head when the two truckers get involved with a group of citrus farmers who are being menaced by the local hard men...

This is a standard 1970s trucking film, a simple enough plot overlaid with footage of lots of trucks driving through the countryside all with a country soundtrack (by Merle Haggard as well which is cool). The film is a bit rough around the edges but pretty entertaining.

The One and Only (1978)

Amiable if somewhat annoying tale of seeking wrestling stardom.

Andy (Henry Winkler) is an aspiring actor, unfortunately he finds it hard to get any parts despite being the most self-confident man in the universe. This is a concern to his wife Mary (Kim Darby) especially as she is now pregnant. 

Andy learns from another actor Milton (Hervé Villechaise) that he can make money in the ring as a wrestler. Mary is not that keen on this change in direction but Andy tends to ignore her concerns anyway (why she stays with him is the film's biggest mystery) but soon gets the bug and seeks super-stardom in the squared circle with a hot new gimmick...

This is a fun enough film, Andy's character is very annoying but Henry Winkler makes it bearable. It is a decent comedy though not without flaws. Real wrestlers who appear in the film include Roddy Piper and Chavo Guerrero Snr.

Big Bob Johnson and His Fantastic Speed Circus (1978)

A low budget and low stakes racing film, this time its two Rolls Royces racing across Louisiana!

Bob Johnson (Charles Napier) has a struggling car stunt act which is bottom of the bill at the county show below a performing dog. However, he gets approached by Timothy Stepwell (Rick Hurst). He and his uncle (William Daniels) are to race across the state in order to win an inheritance from an eccentric relative. He wants Bob to drive the car and to help him defeat his uncle, who has enlisted Bob's rival and nemesis Muldoon (Burton Gilliam) as his driver...

The race begins in two old white Rolls Royces, a Wacky Races style race ensues with the uncle trying all sorts of dirty tricks to win. Meanwhile, a kid (James Bond III) stows away in one of the cars, and they are also pursued by a mysterious black van...

This is all nonsense of course but highly enjoyable. Small town America and the back woods is the setting for this film (never a bad thing, its great to get away from the usual big city settings) and there is plenty of comedy to lighten the mood, plus some decent driving stunts too.

Willa (1979)

She had a dream, and that dream was to drive a truck!

Willa (Deborah Raffin) has a mundane job as a waitress, is raising two kids without the father being around and has an alcoholic mother (Diane Ladd). For some reason she wants a little more in life! She dreams of driving a truck and works hard, loading cargo at night after her day job to earn the right to take driving lessons. I'm not sure what she uses to get all the energy to do all this but i certainly would like some.

Things do not go smoothly for Willa though as the authorities threaten to take her kids away. However, she gets help from another female trucker (Cloris Leachman) and even has time to flirt with Joe (Clu Gulager)...

Well it is a fine enough melodrama. Although a trucking movie, it doesn't have the usual cliches such as high speed chases and bad men stealing loads that you usually get with this genre. The story is a bit basic though, determined to hammer home it's message any way it can.

Rogue Lion (1972)

An amiable tale on a South African nature reserve, plenty of wild animals and some minor adventure if not that many thrills.

Dudley (Brian O'Shaughnessey) operates a nature reserve and is very set in his ways. He doesn't really want any help (though with various wild animals running rampant and a gang of poachers led by Dudley's nemesis Kimber (Victor Melleney) on the reserve he surely needs some). 

He grudgingly accepts Larry (Bruce Millar), a ranger transferred to help him. Larry manages to get on Dudley's good side despite their different methods and outlooks on life causing some conflict early on but then Larry gets involved with Sally (Tessa Ziegler) who just happens to be Kimber's daughter...

Despite the title we don't get to see much in the way of rogue lions in this film, we do see troublesome hippos, wildebeests and crocodiles. The nature footage is the best part of the film but the rest is a perfectly reasonable film if not overly exciting.

The Longest Drive (1976)

Although lacking originality this is an enjoyable Western.

Hatcher (Dan O'Herlihy) is in trouble, he needs to get his cattle to market but lacks a crew to do the drive. The Beaudine brothers (Kurt Russell and Tim Matheson), who are old friends, decide to help him and assemble a crew of misfits including an alcoholic cook, a retired gunslinger and a dude who who went to Yale (not that any of the cowboys know what that is!) 

The epic drive begins, although rustling is a bit of a problem the main issue is a lack of water along the trail and soon that pushes them all to the edge...

This is a great film really, although everything you probably have seen before in one form or the other. However, this fits together really well and the crew of misfits makes a good ensemble. The TV movie budget probably helps in this case as it means the emphasis is placed on the human characters not large scenic set-pieces.

The movie was later edited into two episodes of The Quest TV series.

Spectre (1977)

A superbly campy Satanic horror romp by Gene Roddenberry. 

Criminologist and occult expert Sebastian (Robert Culp) and his friend Dr Hamilton (Gig Young) are hired by the rich Cyon family in England to investigate if Sir Geoffrey (James Villiers) has been possessed by demonic forces! Even before Sebastian leaves his home he is attacked by a demon, his flight over to the UK nearly crashes, this indicates that something is amiss!

Sir Geoffrey is sceptical about this though his sister Anitra (Ann Bell) and brother Mitri (John Hurt) are keen for Sebastian and Hamilton to continue. They discover an underground temple dedicated to the demon Asmodeus, later they also witness an energetic ritual. The true identity of the demon is quite a surprise...

This is a fun film though not without some flaws though this did start life as a TV pilot and was made into a feature film (with extra pagan nudity natch). 

Moonfire (1970)

A somewhat awkward early trucker movie.

This film starts off in glorious trucker movie fashion with a 1970s country song and footage of trucks... but then we see random Mexican thugs shooting people in the desert and a landed space capsule! The truckers including Richard Egan end up fighting a Nazi hiding in the desert and a biker gang too (because they are always hanging around in the desert looking for fights)...

This is a confusing film though makes good use of the tiny budget. The film had a troubled genesis, Richard Egan left early on over a money dispute (though did return for the end) which meant Charles Napier got a promotion. 

The film also stars champion boxer Sonny Liston who appears as a truck driver not long before his death.

Hijack! (1973)

A good old trucking movie across the endless desert of the southern USA.

Jake (David Janssen) and Donny (Keenan Wynn) are two grizzled old truck drivers who are reaching the end of the literal road. They are employed by an oily businessman to transport some top secret equipment to Texas. 

Unfortunately, a gang of thugs are after the equipment and will stop at nothing including murder! Luckily the gang are fairly inept and Jake and Donny manage to foil them over and over again, however there is one final showdown in store as truck battles helicopter full of gunmen!

This is a great little TV movie even if much of it makes little sense... until the final twist. The action is very solid and the leads (despite looking pretty unrealistic for such an action related film to be honest) do a pretty good job.

High-Ballin' (1978)

Great trucking fun even if it is chock full of every 1970s stereotype you can think of!

A gang of thugs led by King Caroll (Chris Wiggins) and Harvey (David Ferry) are targeting independent truckers. Iron Duke (Jerry Reed) is the next trucker to be targeted but the Duke has some help in the form of Rane (Peter Fonda) and Pickup (Helen Shaver). 

However, after much driving around the frozen wastes of Canada, things soon take a deadly turn and the truckers know they have to raise up to save their jobs...

This is a highly enjoyable film, lots of trucking around the countryside and a country music soundtrack. There are some great stunts and truck-car chases. The only drawback is that the film is somewhat dreary, the film takes place in Ontario in Winter and it is all rather bleak!

The California Kid (1974)

A cool slice of 1950s hotrod nostalgia.

The sheriff (Vic Morrow) of a small town has a good money making scheme in catching drivers in a fake speed trap, though when the drivers decide to run for it the sheriff is not averse to knocking them off the road with often fatal results. McCord (Martin Sheen) turns up in town in a cool souped up hotrod, however he is not here to race but to find out why his brother died in one of the many accidents that occur near the town.

He is soon pitted against the sheriff as he gathers evidence on the sheriff's dark secret. Of course their showdown will take place on the road at over 100 miles per hour!

A good film that has some layers to it, the sheriff is given a back story explaining his actions to an extent. The real star of the film is the hotrod though, this is the California Kid!

Chariots of the Gods (1970)

The work of Erich von Daniken, who proposed that mankind has been visited by ancient aliens and who even may have started human civilisation, was very popular in the late 1960s and early 1970s. In this documentary explore theses theories with much fascinating footage.

The documentary travels at break-neck speed, exploring unusual artifacts and ancient writing. The narrative jumps around a little too much though and at times you would like a little more depth. Though if that happened then maybe you would realise that the evidence has been a little too well chosen to fit the narrative...

This is interesting to watch and nothing else and shouldn't be taken that seriously, if you read more deeply into the subject then you know what von Daniken was notorious for doing with the "evidence"! The footage especially of things like a cargo cult in the Pacific is brilliant though.